This post has been so hard for me to write. I have started
at least four different times, but I just can't seem to finish it. I think part
of the problem is that I need to admit some failure I am experiencing in my
life. Admitting failure is not something anyone enjoys doing. So here it comes,
I am failing Chemistry. Okay, I am not really failing, but pretty close with a
D, and for someone who has got A's and B's her entire life it is very similar
to failing. So in order to sum it up I am not doing too great.
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| CJ and me after the SES girls won state!!! I can confidently say I was the proudest big sister/ daughter there. |
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Whew, now that I got that off my chest I can continue. Some
of you might be wondering why I would ever want to share that, let me explain.
If you remember back to my last post you know that I changed my major from
Dietetics to Agronomy. I am back today, again to share I will be changing my
major. I know, I know, I sound 100% crazy, and maybe I am.
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| This is me at Bluestem (a local coffee shop) attempting to write this post. |
I will share what I am switching to here in a minute, but
let's get back to the Chemistry. College is a lot harder than what they prepare
you for in high school. I can confidently say that, as I have talked to several
of my high school classmates and they have agreed. My low grade in Chem is not
for a lack of trying. Almost every day I spend two hours studying, whether I
understand the topic or not. This process began to consume me. I started to
skip out on my quite times reading the Bible, in order to fit in more time to
study. The big awaking came to me one day when I was studying for my test that
night. My best friend Savannah, whom had also been studying with me all day, asked
if I wanted to go watch a sermon with her online so that we could clear our
heads, and spend some time with Jesus. Do you know what I said? I said no! I
thought I needed more time to study. Thankfully the Holy Spirit lives in me and
quickly conflicted my heart. I knew that praising God, and learning more about
Him was and is far more important than me learning the ins and outs of chapter
seven. Immediately I went back to Savannah's dorm to watch the sermon.
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| The view at the top of Manhattan Hill was beautiful. |
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| This is a picture of the greatest letter of the alphabet, on top of Manhattan Hill. Just kidding, but really. |
God has made it very clear to me that sciences are not my
thing, and do you want to know something, He loves me anyways. My goal in life
is to bring glory to God where ever I am, and even though there are several who
can do that in fields of science, I don't think that I am being called in that
direction. This feeling is not a cop out, if I knew that the Lord really wanted
me to be in the sciences than I would do it. What I think he is showing me
though; is that my efforts would be better spent elsewhere. I think this change
is me finally listening and acting on His will.
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| I really hope by this picture you can tell who I was for Halloween. |
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| If you haven't figured it out, I was Elliot from E.T. |
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| This is my friend Vicki, who was also dressed up as a boy named Elliot. |
So again, you are probably wondering what I am changing to.
Thanks for reading this far, I promise we will get there soon, but I need to go
into some back story. Some of you may know that this past summer I served as
the children's ministry intern at my home church, First Covenant. Never in my
life had I learned so much. I learned how to interact with children and
parents, how to plan events and lessons, how to teach Sunday school and bible
studies, how to care for and love each of God's children. I was taught by a
wonderful mentor and an amazingly godly woman, Marsha Pavkov, as well as the
rest of the FCC staff. Ever since my experience at the church, I have felt God nudge
me toward the ministry, possibly children's ministry but possibly something
else. I kept telling myself I felt this way because you can make anything you
do into a ministry, but I really think God wants me in the ministry, if that
makes sense.
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| This is Jenna attempting to study, as I attempted to write this post. |
The past few weeks I have really been looking at my options
for next semester. After visiting with mentors and parents and friends and God
I believe I have a plan. Insert laugh here, this is so funny to me because if
there is one thing college has taught me it is to A) Be humble and B) If I am
truly living my Life for Christ my plans are not my own. But as of right this
second, in this breath, these are the plans for next semester. I will be dual
majoring in Family Studies at K-State, and a basic ministry degree at Manhattan
Christian College (pending acceptance). Lucky for me there is already an
amazing dual degree option set up between the two colleges. Even though I don't
really know what I want to do when I grow up I think this is where God wants me
right now and it can lead me to great things in the future.
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| One day Savannah and I found a beautiful willow tree to study under. |
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| Of course we had to take a picture of our feet. |
I cannot thank you enough for reading this much. I promise I
have exciting blog posts coming soon. I just needed to share this piece first
so that we can move on to bigger and better things.
Love,
Nicollette Paige
